Talk about perfect timing. I was going to ask Greg to share his experience with the marketing and distribution aspect of his children’s book “Where Monsters Go When You Grow Up” when lo and behold, what should appear in my inbox?

I hope you all enjoy his insight as much as I did.

***

Ok – forgive me, Father, it’s been awhile since my last post.

Last time I talked about self-publishing your book; which , as I recall, boiled it down to being a good thing when all was said and done. I stand by that. But here are some addenda I would like to add, having gone through the past few months of marketing/selling my self-pub.

I spent a few months micro-managing my book’s sales, right down to person-to-person sales. I busted my rear-end getting the word out, I literally LITERALLY called every bookstore in the US that could carry my book. Bottom line – I sold a couple hundred books. That’s it. And it was HARD work; ridiculously hard work. Like almost not even worth the effort hard work. So here is what I have to let you know now:

Have a plan, have some money, spend your money wisely in marketing/selling your book, get ready to do consignment sales. A LOT of consignment.

As we talked about last time, the major issue with self-publishing is that no one is going to sell your book for you – you have your work cut out for you BIG TIME. Another very big issue with self-published books is that they are “non-returnable,” more on that later.

The Plan, Stan

Do your homework. Study up on the whole book sales thing, the markets, the stores, what people are reading where – figure out where you want to target the sales, ’cause otherwise you’ll end up ping-ponging all over the place with no direction. Kind of what I did at first. I took a week, I got on the internet, and I started up in the Northeast, and I worked my way down to southern California calling bookstores – mom & pop shops and chains – any place that looked like they would carry my book.

Some of this kind of activity is unavoidable – you simply can not know what every area will carry, or what the demographics are of every sub-section of every city. But do a little at a time – and start locally. Talk to the bookstores and gift shops where you live first. They are usually pretty receptive to local authors, and some will want you to do book signings in the stores. But don’t expect to make any huge sales – you will just be getting your book out there. And most will be on consignment.

The C Word

Aargh. Start groaning now. I will give you a moment to get one big, long groan out now, so that you can beat the rush when you start getting out there with your SP Book. Go.

Done? Good.

Consignment. You give some books to a store, they sell them, and you split the proceeds, typically I have seen 50-50, 40-60 and 30-70, where the first number is for the store. Not bad, huh? Here’s what you missed: check that second line of this paragraph again. “You give some books to a store…” Where do you get the books? YOU buy them.

Even with a huge discount, your books will cost a pretty penny up front, out of your pocket. I had over a dozen stores (I stopped when I started to do the math) ask me for anywhere from 2 to 10 books to sell on consignment. Let’s average this out for the sake of getting concrete numbers to look at and smile.

12 stores asked me for 5 books each, let’s say. That’s 70 books. I pay 5 dollars each to buy my own books so that = 350.00 to buy the books. Plus probably up to 10 dollars to ship to me; then another 3-5 dollars to ship to each store. That’s over 400 dollars just to ship books to a dozen stores.

Then, let’s say that those stores give you the average rate of 40-60. The book sells for 12 bucks, that means the store gets 4.80 and you get 7.20/book x 5 books = 36.00 x 12 stores = $432.00.

You’d better check my math on that. And then groan some more.

Now, to be fair, on the up side you just sold 70 books and word of mouth has started hopefully. And hopefully the store gets people clamoring for the book. So that’s a good thing.

Another Bad Thing

So the store gets clamoring throngs asking for the book, so now they can just order it themselves and send you residual checks, right? Umm, not really. You see, it’s a self-published book, it does not have a huge gorilla company backing it. So if those books that shipped get damaged, or if those books don’t sell – the store can not return them to the warehouse for a refund or exchange.

This is the main reason why stores will not be able to just get on the computer and order books from the major booksellers. Your book will pop up, and that’s kinda cool – but they will balk at buying some because it is non-returnable.

Some stores will order anyway, and they are cool, I liked them. But most will not, especially the big chains; their manager simply will not let them. And so – consignment. So make sure you have some money put aside to buy your own books, and place them wisely – try to get them in the bigger markets’ stores.

(By the way, just so you don’t feel too bad – even when those stores order “directly from the warehouse” – you still only make pennies per sale, it’s just less work for you. I sold a couple dozen books to stores who ordered them . Stores typically get an automatic 40% discount to begin with. So out of those few dozen books – I made probably 5 bucks. Total. In residuals.)

Do you have marketing materials?

I heard that from a LOT of stores as well. Posters, postcards, display pieces, this is what they are talking about. Something that they can put out in the store to generate interest. Start to work on these now instead of later. That way, as soon as your book is done, you can get to stores and have marketing pieces ready. You can also leave these things in stores and on public boards etc to get the word out – and you can usually find some deals where you can get some of these things printed in color for relatively cheap – take a look at internet printing places like VistaPrint, Print Pelican, Zazzle and the like. Have a plan and some money for this stuff.

Yippee!

So there you are! Have fun, see ya!

This was not meant to beat you down, seriously, just to inform you of what you may be in for. You may be lucky and someone will see your book and snap it right up and distribute it for you. But chances are, you’ll be in the aforementioned boat with what seems like one oar in the water and icebergs everywhere.

Use internet resources, ask others for help, make a plan, save some money, start small, think big, and keep the faith, baby.

***

Greg Dorchak is a sorry little man.

*sounds of frantic scrambling behind the curtain and someone mumbling “What do you mean you sent the wrong email?”*

The real Bio: Greg Dorchak is the author of the children’s book: Where Monsters Go When You Grow Up, and is working on more as we speak. He is an award-winning actor, cartoonist and writer living in Austin, Texas. His  film work includes Xtracurricular, Miss Congeniality, Rolling Kansas, and The Longshots; and he most recently worked in Sick Boy due for release in 2011.

Well, all that changed when I started reading Storyfix, by Larry Brooks. Larry’s formula for story structure opened my eyes to a whole new world of writing – one in which it was alright to start with the end of your novel and work backwards. And you know what? It works. Please welcome Larry Brooks to Sirius Graphics, we are very happy to have him as our guest poster here today.

***

Whether authors wearing natty coffee house suits are loathe to admit, all novels fit into a genre.

Novels that don’t are called Adult Contemporary or General Fiction – even Literary — which are themselves all simply categories of different genres. It’s literary semantics with a social pecking order.

That said, every genre under the writing sun has a rap against it. Something that folks who don’t write within that genre use to make it, well, less than their own genre of choice.

In romance, it’s a perception of story structure as formulaic. In essence, that all romances are the same skeleton stretched over a different skin.

In mystery, it’s the very same perception. Likewise with thrillers, science fiction and fantasy. Even historicals if you stretch the definition a bit.

If you’re catching a trend here, that’s the point. Do the math: if every novel is genre, and if every genre has the same rap where structure is concerned, then every novel is formulaic.

Which, in a word, is ridiculous. At least in the sense that this is a bad thing. Novels in any genre are no more formulaic that recipes, doing surgery or swinging a golf club. There are certain things that make it work, and more than one way to get there provided the fundamentals aren’t disrespected.

Predictability, to some extent, is what makes any genre work.

Structure Through a Generic Lens

It’s interesting to note that the root word in generic is genre. Hmmm.

To better understand story structure in novels traditionally labeled as genre, we need to rid the conversation of any sense of commodity-like formula. We need a new language to get past the character-driven rhetoric and clarify what happens first, what happens next and what happens after that, and – here’s the value-adding part – why.

Such a story model is indeed generic, but that doesn’t make it wrong. Because if it is, then every novel short of a literary experiment written by an author on acid is, in fact, just plain wrong.

The problem is that, in almost all cases, structure is discussed using soft-edged character-driven language. Romance novels are especially afflicted in this way…

… girl meets boy… boy doesn’t even notice girl… or girl finds boy repulsive… one does something that makes the other notice… he’s unhappy, she’s unhappy… he’s suddenly happy, she’s just as happy… third parties interfere… somebody pursues somebody else… somebody steps in to save the day…somebody learns a life lesson…

… and romance ensues.

This isn’t structure, its session notes from a relationship counselor. Rather than defining dramatic tension, it more closely defines character arc.

In mysteries you have a crime introduced in past tense… enter the detective… the detective is oh-so-human (usually a recovering alcoholic or, lately a savant)… they probe where no man has probed before… the wrong people get pissed off about it… the detective pulls metaphoric rabbit out of the evidence hat, possibly provoking exposure of the guilty…

… and justice ensues.

One is character-driven, other plot-driven. But the truth is that a successful novel, regardless of genre, requires both character arc and plot exposition.

But until the two structures untangle themselves, it can be tough to tell the difference.

A Better Way to Understand Structure.

What we need is a new language for story construction. One that cuts across all genres equally with universally-held principles and editorial expectations.

Because here’s a little secret about any genre of fiction. This may blow away your belief that your genre is somehow separate from other literary forms in terms of criteria for excellence, but it’s not, and here’s why: all commercial fiction is built on basically the same structure.

Once you understand the various parts and milestones of a story – any story – you are empowered to apply these elements within your genre, and specifically to your story.

This universal structural sequence is as generic as it is empowering. It’s all about pacing and exposition, which is precisely what makes a romance novel compelling.

In movies its classic three-act structure. In novels it’s often referred to as the hero’s journey, which is a warm and fuzzy context that expresses the very same storytelling principles.

Is Generic a Good Thing? It Absolutely Is.

All stories can be broken down into four sequential parts. They have nothing at all to do with girl-meets-boy or detective finds killer, but rather, they are described as generic segments of the story in terms of context.

If you insist on thinking about your story in character-driven terms, these same four parts look like this: orphan… wanderer… warrior… hero/martyr.

But if you’re looking for a way to distribute your characterizations across a landscape of powerful dramatic tension, and if you can wrap your head around understanding the milestones that separate the four parts, try this instead:

• Part 1 set-up… wherein we meet our hero and create the context and stakes for her or his forthcoming quest…
• First plot point… where something happens that changes everything and defines what the hero needs or wants in the story, as well as the obstacles preventing her from attaining it easily, with an antagonist suddenly on the scene…
• Part two response… where we see what the hero does as a natural response to the dramatic incident that changed everything…
• Mid-point… the parting of the curtain with new information that twists the story in a new direction…
• Part three proactive attack… where the hero uses this information to get positively intense about conquering all obstacles, but the obstacles only seem to get stronger…
• Second plot point… the final introduction of new information, or a twist, that ignites the race to the finish…
• Part four resolution… wherein the hero conquers inner demons to become the primary catalyst in the story’s ending.

Of course, all this is in context to the fundamental premise of fiction itself, which is as simple as it is obvious: stories are about a hero/heroine who is thrust into a situation in which she needs or wants something, facing obstacles in her quest to achieve that need, forcing her to confront both inner and exterior antagonistic forces in order to become the primary catalyst in the story’s resolution.

In romances, the quest is love. In mysteries the quest is justice. In character-driven adult contemporary or even literary novels the quest is illumination and fulfillment, as demonstrated over a story landscape that becomes the landscape for character growth.

It’s The Same Structure, Told Differently.

Structure is like a skeleton. Without a proper and healthy skeleton, what you have is something, well, very sad. But it’s not the skeleton that makes a body beautiful, mysterious and compelling. No, that’s the consequences of shape and texture and coloring, delivered with pace and nuance, and imbued with intelligence and humor and romantic mystique.

Without the skeleton, it’s all just a pile of wet mush.

For the most part, the oeuvre of instructional literature as it pertains to genre writing is as often all tissue and no bones as it is precisely the opposite. When in fact, at the core of the story, the skeleton is pretty much the same.

Feel free to test this. Compare stories from supposedly different genres and you’ll see this model in play.

Then you’ll know what successful authors know, even if they’d never admit to belonging to a genre, and even if they describe it all very differently.

Larry Brooks is a bestselling novelist and the creator of Storyfix.com, an instructional writing resource for authors of all genres.

I don’t know what it is about watching other people’s stupidity or misery, but it’s like going to one of those old fashioned sideshows. Sometimes the stuff is really good. Once in a great while poignancy hits like shrapnel and it makes me think that my life is a cake walk compared to others.

Other times, watching the Rich and Beautiful whine about their lives just makes me want to rip the TV off the wall. Shows like The Real Housewives of (insert any upper class county here), or John and Kate – do not get me started on Kate – don’t stay on my GP (Guilty Pleasure) List for very long.

This weekend I spent some time watching Kirstie Alley’s Big Life. The jury is still out as to whether or not it’ll stay in the GP List. I’ve always liked Kirstie. I first saw her in Star Trek when she made her debut as Lt. Saavick. She made for a great Vulcan. Sadly, she was replaced in Star Trek II. “A Bunny’s Tale” is a favorite of mine, too. And so is that movie she did with Tim Allen. So the leap from films to a reality show wasn’t all that big. Besides, I could always change the channel.

Really? Really.

On an upcoming episode the show was going to talk about Kirstie’s “Twittervention”. Apparently she’s gotten addicted to Twitter. That’s what caught my attention to begin with. As one who has seen many an individual succumb to the addictions of social networking, I got sucked in and put the remote down.

This in turn led me to look up her Twitter name. Before I follow anyone, whether they follow me first or not, I check out their websites. Hey, could be potential business, you know?

She had a website. And a blog. And I subscribed.

Really?

Yes, really.

Again, curiosity.

…And Then Something Interesting Happened

As I was perusing my RSS Reader there was a post from her blog announcing “Phitter”. Phitter? What the hell is that?

There went the cat again chasing the curious bright shiny.

Phitter, I discovered, is a micro networking app like Twitter. In fact, it IS Twitter, but without the bird. And it’s for health and fitness only. Kirstie Alley’s brand of health and fitness.

And what brand is that, you ask? Well, if I had tons of money and could start my own health and fitness line on a product that actually WORKED, I’d probably do the same thing.

Disclaimer: I have not tried, nor have any intention of trying the product – I’ve given up on these things years ago. Unless of course, Kirstie is reading this right now and wants to try to convince me otherwise?

Health and fitness programs aside, this made me think; is this the next level of micro networking?

Twitter and Beyond

What if any one of us could create a Twitter app for our brand alone? Not entirely sure if we actually need another social networking app, just sayin’. But you have to admit, it’s a fresh idea and one I haven’t seen anyone else doing. I only wish I’d thought of it first.

So, when Peter M., a very good, long-time friend, posed the question “Really?” I was compelled to turn the answer into a post. Yes, Peter, really. And this is the reason why. The idea was so good it made me stop and think about it.

What do you all think? Will there be more micro-brand specific networks popping up? Are they already out there and I totally missed them? Do we need more social networking? Give it a think and let us know.

Today, Davina shares her first experience of creating an ebook with us. Enjoy!

Why I Was Hyper About My First Ebook

When I was a little girl I loved to go to the library; I was captivated by books. I loved how they smelled when I fanned the pages under my nose. I liked to slide the palms of my hands over the shiny, smooth pages.

I remember asking my mother how it was possible for the text to end in the same place on every line when there were different sizes and numbers of letters. I even counted the letters. The pictures and the stories I took for granted. The rest I did not.

Now I know that justifying text comes with a simple click of the mouse. I was working as a paste-up artist in the mid 80s when desktop publishing became the norm. I said goodbye to text galleys, the hot wax and roller, the Exacto knife and cutting boards.

I formatted textbooks for publishing companies. It was a breeze importing content from Microsoft Word and formatting it in QuarkXPress. I grew and thrived with the new technology. I was still captivated by books. Then, along came the Internet and the ebook. Technology changed things again.

Hyper for Hyperlinks

In 2009 I released The Quote Effect, my first ebook in which more than 30 people contributed over 90 quotes. I chose to format the 50-page ebook in Microsoft Word with the intention of creating a PDF for easy download. Sounds simple right? Wrong.

When I created the PDF the hyperlinks would not work. The reader was supposed to be able to click on the links and be sent to selected posts on the bloggers’ sites. I had set up bookmarks and an index to make navigation easy. None of those links worked either.

The only way the links would work was if the actual permalink of the published post was typed, including the www. If you’re a blogger, you know how long those links can be and that wouldn’t do for this ebook. I wanted to embed the permalink into the actual title of the post that was typed on the page.

After troubleshooting for more than a day, a friend suggested I convert the Word document to OpenOffice; software that I could download for free. When I converted the Word document to OpenOffice low and behold, the hyperlinks worked.

But there was another problem. The formatting had changed. There were different line breaks and fonts in headlines had changed size and position. Things had re-flowed and everything was off kilter. The footers were missing and so were the page numbers. It was a nightmare!

Frustrated, after numerous attempts I rebuilt the book in OpenOffice. Days later, things came together, but with a lot more time and effort than I had expected.

I took a lot for granted when I created this ebook. I didn’t have the most current software to work with and the knowledge I did have, in a way, hurt me. I was too confident about what I was doing and made assumptions about how things worked. Where was that curious young girl when I needed her?

When I scroll through the pages of this ebook there are no pages to fan under my nose. There is no captivating aroma of freshly printed ink. The text isn’t even justified. But the hyperlinks work. That I don’t take for granted.

Davina Haisell blogs at Shades of Crimson where she asks readers to “Forget everything they think they know about personal development.” Click over to read a mixture of poetry and personal stories where topics range from life coaching and blogging, to reflections about nature. When she’s not blogging or life coaching, she’s proofreading for Writer Sense Communications.

Today’s guest post comes from Jamie Simmerman of Blue Duck Copy. All too often in our business we see a lot of folks taken advantage of by designers who think they know more than they do. It’s sad, and frustrating, and gives all us honest designers a bad name – not to mention all the cleaning up we have to do in their wake.

Jamie beat me to the punch with her post and asked if we’d like to share it here. I said sure, considering my own post on the subject started out with far less nicer words than cockroach.

***

“Ewwww! I think I just stepped on a cockroach! Oh! Pardon me, that was your Web designer.”

Would you know if you hired a cockroach to design your website? Sadly, many clients don’t realize something is a little buggy with a business deal until it’s too far gone. With the economy in a seemingly endless slump, more and more of these fly-by-night, dishonest, creepy Web designers are taking clients for a ride and leaving them with little more than a crappy website and a disenchanted attitude.

So how do you spot a cockroach in disguise?

You take a look at his habits.

Cockroaches are hard to squash. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to squash the truth out of a bad designer. They make excuses, change their story multiple times, and never admit that something is beyond their capabilities. A good designer knows her limits and is not afraid to admit, “I don’t know, but I can find you someone who does.”

Cockroaches adapt well. A bad designer will dig into your website and make himself at home. If your Web Designer highjacks your website and holds your content, settings, and control of your business hostage, you may be dealing with a cockroach in disguise. A good Web Designer won’t nickel and dime you to death by charging you for every blog post you write (and subsequently want to publish on your website).

Cockroaches are nocturnal. Well, lots of quality Web designers work nights, too, so this one might not be a good indicator. However, if your designer begins to make strange requests about payment, gives you a bogus telephone number or address, or keeps upping your price, you may be dealing with a cockroach.

Cockroaches are hardy. Hard to kill, these little pests keep coming back for more. No matter how strained the relationship becomes, they just keep pouring on the complications, complaints, and excuses Then, suddenly, after the check has cleared… they seem to disappear into the night- even if the job’s not finished.

Cockroaches stink. This one is self-explanatory. If it smells like a deal gone bad, it probably is.

Cockroaches are numerous. Just like the real buggers, bad web designers are plentiful and they seem to multiply like- well, like cockroaches. So keep your eyes peeled and carry a big can of bug spray in the form of knowledge. And if you happen to fall prey to one of these pests, don’t panic. There’s hope and help available. Honest, dependable, non-insect designers like the Sirius team will come to rescue your website from becoming a local roach motel.

Did this article’s title make you pause? How could Sirius Graphix possibly denounce the importance of graphix–I mean, graphics?

Relax. Read it again. We still salute to the graphics flag, but even the most artistic among us would agree that a website, an ebook, or even an advertisement is only half-baked without quality content.

Here to reinforce the importance of the importance of your message is Andy Hayes of Travel Online Partners, author of the guide to online writing success Write Right Online. Get a taste of the goodness you’ll find in his book right here at Sirius for our Special Edition Wednesday. Admire the picture that goes with the article too, but don’t underestimate the  importance of the words that go with it.

If you’re reading this, no doubt you’re aware that good graphic design is serious (Sirius?) business. Online, as in everywhere else, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Looking good is key, but it isn’t always enough. Your content needs to finish the job that your graphic design starts.

Why Your Words Are Important

Online, your customer has no physical cues or points of reference except for the picture that you paint. There’s no eye contact, no external reference like how you’re dressed or how firm your handshake is. Even worse, a customer has the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card: the Back button on their browser.

Because of this, your business has to overcome a few obstacles right from the start:

• Establishing Trust and Attention: People are pretty skeptical these days, so you need to immediately establish yourself as worthy of trust and attention. You don’t do it by shouting, and you don’t do it by selling right away. You offer a compelling headline to entice them in and then make sure they know who you are.
• Explaining Your Proposition Quickly, but not Too Quickly: Attention spans are nearly non-existent these days. Your content needs to get to the point and stay there. Go too quickly and you’ll lose people, but rambling gets you the Back button without question.
• Getting Lazy People to Take Action: If you do business in person, sitting with your customers in their living room, it’s kind of hard for them to say no. If your customer is relaxing on their sofa with a laptop and you’re asking them to buy something, it’s kind of hard for them to say yes. People get a little lazy online.

And Then There’s the Noise

The Internet is an amazing platform for communications because it’s rapidly approaching zero cost. That’s great for us – but it’s also really bad. Why? Because that low/no cost gives us one of the Internet’s infamous characters: spam. It really and truly is everywhere. It puts people on edge, it makes you guilty before you are innocent, and it means you have to work that much harder to be part of the solution, not just more spam.

It isn’t a lost cause though, so don’t despair. If you are passionate about your niche and target market, that will shine through in your words. If you are transparent in the fact that you are selling something, people will respect that and tune in.

Writing is an Art, Not a Science

You’re probably wondering how you can do all these things and still make a sale. Let me be clear: there isn’t one right answer. What works for your customer might not work for someone else’s. How do you know what works for you?

• Know Where You’re Headed: You should know the reason or purpose for EVERYTHING you write. Is the text on your banner ad supposed to intrigue people, sort of freak them out, or just remind them of something that’s ending soon? What’s that blog article you’re writing for – to sell something, to tell a story, to explain your brand? Get it clear in your head before you start.
• Get Feedback: Don’t work in a vacuum. Make sure that you’re monitoring, measuring, and changing direction based on customer feedback. Ideally you should get external feedback as often as possible, but be sure to let changes settle and embed. If you can’t find someone to give you honest and critical feedback, pay someone to do it. As a writer, it’s easy to be too close to content to notice its flaws.

So, How’s Your Web Copy Doing?

Tweaking your words can be key to unlocking bigger profits from your website and online presence. But you don’t need expensive, extensive copywriting courses. I’ve gathered the most important principles you need to keep yourself on track in my do-it-yourself guide, Write Right Online. There’s even a guided tour option which offers you one-on-one coaching and feedback on specific points. Click now to find out more and get your copy today.

Andy Hayes is a professional writer and published author. He is the managing director of Travel Online Partners (TOP), the go-to resource for small businesses in travel and tourism for help with online technology.

This week’s Special Edition Wednesday guest writer was a friend of the Sirius crew since before we even were a crew.  With podcasts of his own on the market and years of experience in the podcasting business, we couldn’t resist a taste of the wisdom that makes spiritualtramp.com a pleasure to follow.

Welcome, Scott Roche, to Special Edition Wednesday!

Thinking about starting a podcast? Already have one underway? Everything I know about podcasting I learned from The Karate Kid‘s Mr. Miyagi.

Concentrate. Focus Power.

Podcasting, like any other attempt to communicate, benefits greatly from focus. You should give the overarching theme a lot of thought before you set out on your podcast journey.

Do you have a product, service, or business that you’re trying to sell? Or, like me,  a story to tell? Whatever it is, you need a firm sense of what you’re all about. When listeners search for content, they’re more likely to find you if you’re known for  featuring the latest news on Mac software than if you ramble as “The Computer Dude”.

Once you have a big picture in mind, you need to make sure that each episode is in line with it. Once listeners find you and know what to expect, significant variation from that theme is going to risk losing them. I’ve listened to and produced an immense variety of podcasts over the last four years. Experience has taught me that the less successful ones are those that go off on rabbit trails on a regular basis.

Maybe this sounds like having a script. Why not? If it’s a one-man show,  it’s easier to avoid tangents if your words are written down and thoughtfully edited, at least until you’re comfortable speaking off the cuff. Hey, even the big guys in television and radio work with cue cards. If it’s a two-man show or a big group, working from notes or an outline will keep you from wandering too far afield.

First, Wash All Cars. Then Wax.

Once you’ve recorded an episode and are ready to go live with it, do us all a favor and edit. In some ways it’s no different from a blog post. There’s something to be said for the “radio show” feel that some podcasts have, but pulling that off takes chemistry and professionalism that most people just don’t have.

Since you have the opportunity to edit, do! Take out the “umm”s and “uhh”s that are natural in most people’s speech. If the conversation did go wandering, leave the evidence on the cutting room floor. You’d do the same with any good writing, right? Audio is no different.

First Learn Stand, then Learn Fly. Nature Rule, Daniel-san, Not Mine.

The best thing about starting a podcast is that the entry barrier is low. Your equipment can cost you less than a hundred dollars. Good software can even be had for free (I highly recommend Audacity).

You can spend thousands, and you may end up doing so if you factor in hosting costs, computer hardware, high-end microphones, and pro level software. Don’t start out that way though. Set a low budget and stick to it.

Also resist the temptation to add auditory bells and whistles.  Some long-time podcasters (and I) like to layer ambient sounds, music, and extra voices to immerse our listeners in the story. There is certainly a place for that, but my main success in the podcasting world has been in fiction.

Now, adding production values, anything from audio bumpers to sound effects, can make for a more professional product even in non-fiction. But if you don’t have your base audio up to a good quality and the “extras” aren’t completely thought out, odds are you’re just going to muddy the waters.

One of the best podcast novels I’ve listened to features one man simply reading his story. He’s put a lot of work into his podcast to get it there, but unless you’ve been on his side of the microphone you may not know that. Trust me, learning to stand and walk and make it look effortless is just as hard in the podcast world as it is in the physical one.

I Tell You What Miyagi Think. I think You Talk Too Much!

The average listener takes in our products on a commute. According to the US Census, the average commute is between twenty and thirty minutes. When you consider that the average television show–without commercials–is only about eighteen to twenty-two minutes long, thirty minutes or less seems to be the sweet spot for most folks’ attention span. Aim for that.

Now, if it’s a round-table discussion, an interview, or something truly epic in scope, then people might listen for as long as an hour. If you’re planning to do a longer form, however, think about ways to break it up. Consider putting an advertisement for a fellow podcaster or a musical break at the halfway mark. Anything to give your listeners’ ears a rest.

If it is just you talking, I recommend that you keep it brief. If your listeners really want more of you, they’ll find a way to let you know.

For that solo show, try variety to keep listeners’ ear fatigue at a minimum. Bring on a guest host or a co-host for a while. Even if you don’t ordinarily do interviews, try one that fits into your show’s scope. It’s also good to have a way to receive and share audio feedback from your audience. For that, check out Google Voice. It automatically converts your listeners’ calls into MP3s for easy importation.

I Say, You Do. No Questions.

Podcasting is a lot of fun, as a hobby or even as advertisement for your business or professional life. There are as many ways to podcast as there are ways to blog. Regardless of your format, I think these key bits of wisdom from your friendly neighborhood sensei will keep your podcast from ending up in a body bag.

So you’ve started a business. You’ve got your pretty logo, new business cards, and your eager new employees, maybe t-shirts and personalized email accounts to seem even more legit.

“I’m a writer,” you say, when people ask what you do. “I have my own business.”

And they’re impressed, because they know something that you seem to have missed.

The writing world is Hard. Challenging. Downright impossible, if you don’t have what it takes to stand out. And what’s it take? Contacts. Skill. Time. Inhuman energy. Luck.

And obedience to five rules that make or break the independent writer.

Today’s Special Edition Wednesday contributor is Jamie Simmerman of Blue Duck Copy. She knows the five essential rules to running a successful writing company. Do you?

How long do you think you’ll you last as a writer? Go ahead, be optimistic. It’ll make you feel better. Nearly 80% of new businesses in the United States fail every year. If 80% of cars manufactured in the United States went up in flames within their first year, the scooter would get real popular real fast.

How are you going to keep your writing business from becoming just another statistic?

Growing Fangs: Five Hard and Fast Writing Rules

You want to be a successful writer, but getting started in the big bad world of internet content can be overwhelming and confusing. Where do you start? What should you focus on? Whom do you take advice from?

To help you stay sane in your endeavor to make this writing gig a positive experience, there are a few hard and fast writing rules you should know.

Be Clear

One of the most common mistakes a new writer makes is to assume that everything they write is witty, charming, and interesting. In truth, it probably isn’t.

Very few writers can successfully write using humor, clichés, or phonetic wordplays. Your goal should always be to make your writing clear, not clever. If the reader has to work to understand your meaning, you’ve lost the edge you need to make your work a success.

Be Original

Another common mistake is churning out cookie-cutter content. Your writing needs to include something of value, meat and potatoes, and it should be interesting to read. Wolves feed their young by regurgitating partially digested food, but the writing world isn’t so fond of vomit.

Make it fresh, make it relevant, and you just might make it to your first annual review.

Know Your Audience

A successful writer knows how to adapt his or her writing to fit the needs of the client. This means you must know vital information about your target audience.

Remember, the target audience will be different for each client. A client that sells designer knock-off perfumes has a completely different target audience than a client who sells tactical police gear. Each reader comes to a website with certain expectations and needs. Your job is to meet them.

Be Flexible

Being able to write for a particular audience is a boon, but successful copywriting requires having more than one client.

You need to be flexible enough to tailor projects to satisfy a wide variety of clients. If you write long enough, each project could begin to sound just like the last unless you make a conscious effort to stretch your writing style and adapt to meet the needs of your clients.

Connect with the Reader

The target audience is the group of readers, shoppers, or businesses that the client wants to attract to their website. The target audience is best defined as the ideal customer. Knowing the needs, desires, and background of this ideal reader will help you make that connection effectively.

For Internet content to be effective, a writer must connect with the reader. Each target audience has different preferences for writing, tone, vocabulary, voice, level of information, and technical jargon. These factors all need to be considered before you write the first word of a project.

And Never Be Afraid of Lists

• Be comprehensible.
• Be original and worthwhile.
• Know your target audience.
• Give each project its own voice.
• Make a connection with your reader.

That right there is this whole article, short and sweet and straight to the point.

I don’t know many people who’d want to read blog after blog of nothing but bulleted lists, but if you can deliver your message in as concise a format as this, you’re off to a good start.

Know what your readers want,  cater your writing to their tastes, and deliver hard-hitting content that will keep you in business long after the unlucky 80% has fallen away.

This week’s Special Edition Wednesday brings us Karen Swim of Words for Hire. Karen is a skilled marketer and her positive attitude is positively contagious. We can’t think of a better way to start the day than reading her words of wisdom.

You pace nervously outside the conference room door.  Inside waits an audience of prospective customers. You researched, prospected, cold called, and bought advertising and now they are here waiting for your big presentation.

Lights, Camera, Action

It’s time. You take a deep breath and open the walnut doors. Hundreds of faces look up with anticipation as the room goes silent. You clear your throat and turn on the presentation screen. Your audience waits for your introduction and you press play.

The bright shiny screen fills up with pouncing puppies. You smile and pause anticipating their warm and fuzzy response. The room remains silent. You quickly hit next and words fly in from the right hand side of the screen. You again pause allowing your audience to read your clever wordplay. You look out to a sea of confused faces and knitted brows.

Chairs push back from the table as people began to leave. Some are angry, and others silently lurk away. No one talks to you or looks at you and soon you are presenting to an empty room.

Respect them or lose them

If this were an actual live presentation, and you were fast on your feet you could adjust and recover from a slide or joke that falls flat but this is your website and when you tank, people simply leave.

Your beautifully designed website must do more than look pretty, it must be functional, and if you are a business on the web that function is to win you customers. So how do you that? Use your words.

Keep it simple…

Your website is your salesperson. It is on 24 hours per day. It cannot adjust on the spot or use warm chatter to ease into a conversation. It must be on and ready to answer questions the moment a visitor walks through the door. Your graphics, photos and words should clearly convey your message, not confuse or dissuade your customers from trusting you.

Too many businesses make the mistake of trying to sound important without telling customers in plain language (whatever language that happens to be for you) what they do. It sounds so simple right? If you’re a plumber, doctor or pet sitter your website visitors should know that instantly. Yet, we think that’s too simple so we write copy like this:

ABC company is a consortium of seasoned and dedicated professionals in a multitude of disciplines offering customers’ unparalleled solutions to everyday challenges.

For an added touch of warmth, we put up a stock photo of important looking people holding briefcases and staring blankly into the camera. Or if we’re going for transparency we put up a photo of Homer our dog so that our audience knows we’re just like them.

While the words above are definitely English, it may as well have been written in Sanskrit. What does the company do? Your visitors expect to find that out within seconds and if it’s not clear chances are many will leave. Only the committed super sleuth will navigate through additional pages to discover the secret mysteries. Most of your visitors will just not be that into you.

Marketing is not an exercise in confusing your audience. It is a discipline in which you know their wants, needs and preferences and you communicate your solutions to them in language that they understand. Forget cute, clever or coy, that may work for big brand companies and super bowl ads but in the real world where you’re slugging it out with a thousand competitors you need to be clear.

Karen Swim is a Business and Marketing Consultant who helps clients to connect with their target audiences in clear and simple language. She loves puppies but never exploits them in marketing efforts. To learn more, visit wordsforhirellc.com

Welcome to Special Edition Wednesday! Today’s post is written by a man with a name you’re already familiar with, but don’t worry; there’s no big revelations today. Greg is a Dorchak by blood, and living proof that talent is hereditary. He writes from Texas and a background in writing, producing and acting, make him a prime go-to guy for all the screenwriting advice you could need.

Greg’s advice applies to more than just screenwriting. In it are the basic tools for writing anything.

You’re welcome to try to get him to tell embarrassing stories from Deb’s childhood, but while we’re waiting for those, here’s some of the tidbits of screenwriting wisdom he wanted to share with the Sirius team and friends.

We’re proud to have for this week’s Special Edition Wednesday, writer and actor extraordinaire Greg Dorchak!

We’ve all done it. You go to see a movie and half an hour into the film you’re thinking to yourself, “Holy cow. I can do better than this!” The story has holes in it a mile wide, the dialogue makes you laugh–and not in a good way, the characters are boring, and… isn’t there supposed to be a plot?

To be fair, a lot of those problems can be attributed to many factors. But for the most part, the screenwriter is to blame for a really horrible film–and conversely to credit with a really good one. The reason being that if you start with a really great script, somebody else has to work overtime to screw it up.

Start With a Great Story

Let’s say you tell a friend, “Hey, you’ve got to see SuchandSuch – it’s awesome!” They ask what it’s about, and you say, “X.”

That “X” is the premise, and if that little blurb doesn’t interest your friend, they may not go to see the movie. That “X” is what you have to start with when deciding to write a screenplay. Let me give some examples of X:

• A psychologist tries to help a young boy who claims he can see dead people.
• A group of bachelor partiers wake up in a Las Vegas hotel room with no recollection of the night before.
• A journalist for a major newspaper goes undercover as a high school student to write a story on what a First Kiss feels like.

Now, whether or not any of those particular ideas interest you, these are what the screenwriters first comes up with – the story. This is the most important part of the writing process; the better your story idea, the easier it is to make a great script from it.

Once you have a solid story idea, flesh it out in 4 or 5 five broad strokes:

Story: A psychologist tries to help a young boy who can see dead people.

1. Psychologist, Bob, wins an award for helping children, but loses a patient the same night from neglect, career is ruined
2. A year later, Bob is given case of child, Bill, who claims to see and hear dead people
3. Bob tries to bond with Bill, finds claims are actually true
4. Bob learns Bill’s dark secret, figures out how to help
5. Bill is cured, Bob is redeemed

Once you have this rough outline of your story, then the real fun begins.

Flesh It Out

Flesh out your story by filling in the spaces between your broad strokes with more detailed information. An important thing to keep in mind here is that nothing is written in stone and unchangeable. Your story will start to take on a life of its own, the characters will do things you didn’t expect, and if you have an epiphany for a really cool twist at the end, go with the flow.

Remember–this isn’t going up on the screen yet. This is you putting together a story. More than likely, no one but you will ever read this rough stuff. Have fun with it, and don’t be afraid to explore the possibilities.

After you have fleshed out your story and tweaked some of the broad strokes, you will use this fleshed-out outline as a guide when you are actually writing the script, referring back to it as needed.

Write The Script

Okay – you’ve done your outline, the story sounds really good, and you already have some scenes planned out in your head – go ahead and write those first to get you going. Don’t worry about writing out of order – the important thing is to get going, and a blank page can be quite daunting. So write those two or three scenes you see in your head. Write the end first if you want – just get going. All writers write differently, so don’t let this bother you.

As you start, you will probably be doing what I like to call Brain-Dump. This is where you just write and get everything out onto the page. Write what you can each day, and the next day read over what you wrote the day before, and then get into the new material. You can go back and tweak and rewrite later. Just get your story out.

When you’re done writing, put the script aside for a day or two. Don’t think about it; let it sit. When you do come back to it, you’ll do so with a fresh eye and brain, and then you can wade through it and edit as necessary. When you’re done with that edit, believe it or not, you will have what is called a First Draft. You’ll be proud of yourself, and think this is the awesomest thing ever written.

It isn’t. It’s a first draft, and as good as it may be – it can and will be better.

Take that first draft and have some friends read it, listen to their feedback. This doesn’t mean you have to do everything everybody says, but listen to the feedback. Sometimes you will hear the same thing over and over again, like: “the lead should not kill the puppy.” This could be something you want to change; if enough people don’t like it, it might need to come out. Listen to all thoughtful, constructive criticism, it helps you be a better writer.

Some Leftovers

This is all a very, very basic starters article. There is a lot more that goes into screenwriting once you decide to give it a go for real. But it all starts with desire and a good story. Most screenplays will average around 90-120 pages – shorter lengths for comedies, longer for dramas, and scripts tend to run about a minute a page. You can look online to find books and articles and classes, with info on how to properly format, etc.

Another thing you will need to do is find a site that has scripts to read; read as much as you can. Start with scripts of movies you have seen so you can see how a page comes to life. Once you have your script at about a third draft or so, it may be ready to enter into competitions–there are many very good ones. Find them online, submit to one or two and see how you do, maybe get some professional feedback and see where you need to put in more work and where you’re already doing well.

Don’t get discouraged. Write, and don’t judge yourself; let others do that for themselves. You just tell your story.

- Greg

Greg Dorchak is a writer, cartoonist, and actor living in Austin,TX. He was surprised to find another Dorchak in Las Vegas who is completely unrelated to him yet just as talented. He has been writing screenplays for 15 years and has also written and performed sketch comedy with improv troupes over the years. He is now starting to produce his own films, and is writing and illustrating children’s books. See more at www.blueyak.net. By the way, he and Deb are cousins.