Why Being a Loser Isn’t Always a Bad Thing
Written by Rose - December 15, 2009 11 Comments
There’s an old story about a woman who has ten coins. ten shiny, gorgeous coins. Coins that would make a collector cry with jealousy. Her life is going well, her coins are shiny and bright . . . and then she loses one.
And she freaks out.
She calls in sick, dries her tears on her pillowcase, and spends the whole day searching the house. Top to bottom, from one wall to the other. She sweeps, moves furniture, throws a hip shifting the fridge . . . her neighbors can’t decide if they should pity her or laugh.
Remember, kids, this woman had ten coins. She lost one. That means she still has nine. But she’s so stuck on the one she lost that she can’t function like a normal person until she finds it.
Weird, huh?
Our Bittersweet Heroine
When I first heard this story, I had a hard time deciding whether I should applaud or despise the woman. I mean, on one hand, she’s determined and knows that every little bit counts. Those are good things, right?
But at the same time, there’s something pathetic about her devotion. I mean, these are coins we’re talking about, not kids. Coins are generic. They’re interchangeable. They really only make a difference when they’re put together and given away for things she needs.
So why the hassle?
Let me tell you another story.
There’s this woman who works as a writer. She loves her job, churns out writing by the bookful, writes for work and for fun . . .
And one day, she loses a flash drive.
Remember now, this lady writes a lot. She types at 90 words per minute and spends at least four hours a day in front of her computer. Being a big fan of backups, the only irreplaceable thing on this drive is a blog article for a certain high-quality design company she writes for. The article was 700 words long, edited and polished, a copy-paste away from publication, and now it’s was gone.
This woman also freaks out.
Never mind that there are other projects on her plate that need attention; she leaves work early and spends hours and hours tracing her steps around her house and neighborhood, searching high and low to find the lost USB.
Never mind that she has at least nine more articles ideas brewing right there in her head. This one matters to her.
Still thinking it’s weird?
Knowing When to Let Go
All right, I’ll admit it. One of those stories is about me. I was surprised at how distraught I was at losing my drive, but I think my reaction wasn’t quite as ridiculous as it first seemed.
Whenever we work on a project, we put ourselves into the creation. No matter what it is you do for a living, a little piece of your soul rubs off on everything you touch.
Ask the women running Sirius Graphix, if you don’t believe me. We know what it is to lose things we were dedicated to. Who doesn’t have a story of devotion to something that ends up crumbling at your feet or getting taken away by force?
And When to Hang On Tighter
Don’t lose hope yet! They may be harder to remember, but I bet we all also have stories of dedicating our hearts and energy to something that thrives beyond our expectations. Sometimes, as for the old woman, your hard work pays off and you can spend your ten coins on a huge party.
But sometimes that hard work doesn’t pay off. The project gets lost or ruined, and everything you worked for is gone in a second.
Now comes the moment of decision. You can internalize the failure and give up on hard work. You can spend the rest of your life just doing what you have to do to get by.
Or you can take the opportunity to apply what you learned from the experience to every project that comes after.
The first option’s safer. If you don’t let yourself care about the things you make, then it’s a lot easier to watch them fail. Then again, it’s a lot easier for them to fail.
But if you put your heart and soul into each and every project you work on, you’ll never have to wonder if you could have done better. Put your best foot forward in every venture and do what you have to do to succeed. If your team gives every project the best of what you have, when it’s done you can be proud whether or not it’s successful.
And who knows what kind of glorious posts—er, projects—can come out of a loss?
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Read the Comments
11 Outstanding Responses to "Why Being a Loser Isn’t Always a Bad Thing"
Karen Swim on December 15, 2009 at 11:33 am | Permalink
Rose, excellent points! A few weeks ago, I lost an article I was writing. Me, the fanatical risk averse back-upper who backs up three different ways. Yet, somehow this article that I had written, polished and was ready to send to the client was lost. I freaked out, I moaned, I rationalized how to get it back and ten minutes later I simply wrote another version, reasoning that the ideas were still fresh and that I could write an even better version. The client loved it and the publication accepted it and I did not waste hours trying to figure out how to recover the lost file.
Karen Swim’s last blog post… The 5 Things I Hate About Social Media | Search Engine People Blog
Tracy (aka spiritwolf32) on December 15, 2009 at 11:42 am | Permalink
Beautiful words. I love it and it is so true. I put my heart into everything I do or try to at least. It brings out my best work when I do that.
But I do have trouble letting go of things and I am still working on that.
Deb Dorchak on December 15, 2009 at 11:53 am | Permalink
Tracy!!! Hey there! Thank you so very much for stopping by. Really, I mean that. I thought Rose’s post was very good, she floors me every time. In fact, this whole team does.
Glad to have you here. Hope to see much more of you.
@Karen: The second time around is sometimes the best. I’ve lost many a post over the years, hell, I’ve lost a LOT of things over the years, but you know what? On some level it’s all still there, and it comes out even better because I already know what I’m doing!
Rose on December 15, 2009 at 12:59 pm | Permalink
@ Karen: I hope that next time I lose something I’ll skip the hours of freaking out and get straight to the rewriting like you did. Revision is, after all, the writer’s best friend!
I once lost a section of a story that I was co-writing with a friend, and when he heard me wailing that it was gone, he shrugged and said the nicest thing I’ve ever heard. “That’s okay. I know you can write it again. And this time it’ll be even better.”
@ Tracy: You DO put your heart into everything you’ve seen. From what I’ve seen of your work and writing, you’re the kind of person I need to work harder to emulate; a positive outlook and a 100% giver no matter what. It’s good to see you on “boards” again.
Steph on December 15, 2009 at 3:50 pm | Permalink
Ooh, this post brings back memories. I remember working really hard, as usual, on a long paper in university and somehow, I don’t have a clue how, I lost it. It disappeared. I RAGED for hours, days even. Even thinking about it now, over ten years later, I distinctly remember how angry I was, how I desperately refused to believe it was really and truly gone and how I kept trying to retrieve it. Even little things like emails or comments that suddenly irrevocably disappear while I’m working on them or as I submit them make me incensed. It takes me some time to let things like this go. I have to take many deep breaths before I can accept the loss and start over.
Your last line hit me the most: Who knows what glorious posts or projects can come out of a loss? You’re totally right. It’s not as though whatever I was working on was the epitome of my talent or the one chance I had at thinking whatever it was I was writing; it’s not the one and only time I could get it right. The second time might be even better. I have to remember that. I think I just really hate repeating things, but as you suggest, it’s not necessarily a waste of time.
Steph on December 15, 2009 at 3:51 pm | Permalink
PS. Comluv hates me!
Deb Dorchak on December 15, 2009 at 5:10 pm | Permalink
@Steph: You’re not alone, I think Comment Luv is being wonky with a lot of folks today.
I think the worst part is the initial shock of the loss. It’s a horrible sinking feeling for sure. Then you quickly go through the 7 stages of grieving and when you hit acceptance, then the words come again.
Alex Fayle ¡ Someday Syndrome on December 15, 2009 at 11:25 pm | Permalink
I’ve done that more times than you can imagine and each time I rant for a moment, then start again and 99% of the time, it’s a much better article, so much so that sometimes I tell myself I should do with every article (but then being a relatively lazy person, I don’t).
Alex Fayle ¡ Someday Syndrome’s last blog post… Course Changes on the Someday Journey: Reorienting Goals
Rose on December 16, 2009 at 8:58 am | Permalink
@Alex: You’re absolutely right; improvement comes with drafts. It’s always a little bit painful to acknowledge that a re-written work can be better than the Inspired Original, but that’s the kind of perspective that keeps writers from succeeding. Editing is king! Revision is the boss! And starting over is *sigh* never as impossible as it first seems.
Cath Lawson on December 19, 2009 at 3:31 pm | Permalink
Hi Rose – I have lost so much work through forgetting to back up etc. I used to get really stressed about it, instead of just getting on with things. Then one day, I lost a novel I’d taken ages to write and I was half way through the second draft.
Losing all the other stuff prepared me for it and I didn’t get stressed at all. It sucked anyway and as Alex said, things are always better when you re-write them.
Rose on December 19, 2009 at 4:44 pm | Permalink
@ Cath: Oh man, a whole novel?! You’re my new hero. Contact Sirius when you’re ready to get that rewritten novel proofread and polished for publishing. We’ll wait for it.